There are so many things I wish kids were taught starting in first grade. Things like financial literacy. Emotional regulation. The family trees of the four main families in Game of Thrones (just me?). But the one I really wish they taught? Crisis communication.

I am slowly making my way through an extraordinary book called This Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories That Make Us by Cole Arthur Riley. I say “slowly” because the language is just so beautiful, so nourishing, that I am pacing myself so I don’t accidentally devour it in one sitting. This line knocked me out today:

Hi Friend, Sunshine and roses. Find your passion. Face your fears. Make time to recharge. What do these words and phrases have in common?

The problem with people-pleasing isn’t just that it’s exhausting. It’s all the lying it requires. Lying about what we want. What we need. Lying about having an actual life — constantly canceling or rescheduling what we had planned in order to accommodate other people’s plans, other people’s schedules.

Last week, I shared the questions I love asking *before* I plan a presentation. But recently, someone very smart*** shared another question with me—their “secret weapon” for gathering deep intel on a specific audience or group of participants. It’s a question that allows you to unlock a mountain of information from the other people in the room.