Hi Friend,
Yes, I am quoting the rap duo Kriss Cross in the subject line, and with good reason!
The truth is, we all need to warm it up. We need to talk about the power of warmth in communication.
Warmth: enthusiasm, affection, or kindness.
Communicating with warmth puts people at ease. It allows you to be direct and speak honestly, without doing damage to the relationship.
Warmth is even more mission critical for women to master, as we tend to be penalized for being direct in ways that men are not.
But regardless of gender … warmth only boosts the way others perceive us as leaders.
The question is: are there habits we can construct that naturally infuse our communication with warmth?
The answer is: heck yes.
Here are some of my favorite “warm it up” habits:
- If I have to have a difficult conversation, I always lead with the positive. The power of an authentic compliment is real.
- I enter online meetings with a smile. Entering the “chat” with a neutral face can sometimes register as coldness—especially when we’re communicating via video rather than meeting around a table. So I warm it up with my smile.
- I ask a question then listen deeply to the response, asking follow-up questions that demonstrate I’m there to understand (not judge).
- I practice what is called “unconditional positive regard.” It doesn’t mean that I unconditionally like every person with whom I interact, but it does mean that I fundamentally believe they are doing the best they can, and I respect their boundaries as they navigate the complexity of their own lives.
Your thought experiment this week is to pick a warmth habit and see how you might develop it as your own.
Meeting with someone you can’t stand? Try practicing unconditional positive regard.
Have to tell your team some difficult news? Lead with the positive … Deliver the difficult … Close with the positive. Then ask good questions, and listen DEEPLY to the answers.
Warmth … it’s the secret weapon of spellbinding communicators.
Shine on,
B
