Hi Friend,
Recently, a very wise person reminded me of the power of language, namely, the negative power generated when we complain.
Anytime someone tells me to stop complaining, immediately my hackles go up and I mutter how dare you tell me how to talk or feel!!!
But this wise person wasn’t necessarily telling me to stop complaining.
She was simply pointing out a simple truth: energy flows where our focus goes.
Language is a form of energy … the words we use make the people around us feel stuff.
And sometimes, we absolutely need to articulate something that is wrong, out loud, so that we can make it right.
But too often, we complain because it’s part of a script running on repeat in the back of our minds. It’s a negative communication habit culturally reinforced in casual interactions between friends, at work with colleagues, with the stranger sitting next to us on a plane.
How are you?
I’m good. Just crazy busy. I can’t keep up.
That’s a script I’ve been running for as long as I’ve had children. Which is very nearly 18 years.
What a waste of breath!
How about this instead:
How are you?
Well, while out walking this morning I caught the scent of a rose so tall that her flowers reached my face, and just as I took in that fragrance, petals on my cheeks, the song Xanadu started playing through my airpods, and for just that second I felt transported into another dimension… It was awesome.
Both scripts are technically true, but one script invites a higher frequency of energy into the conversation, the other, a much lower energy.
Your thought experiment this week is to notice and then talk about the small, special-for-you moments that happen in your daily life, instead of drawing on those old scripts that skew towards negativity and complaint.
And if you really need to kvetch, do it mindfully. Make a date with someone to do just that, and let them know what you need (a listening ear? A possible solution?).
Have a beautiful week, my friend.
Shine on,
B |
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