Look At Your Calendar … Are There Any Meetings, Presentations, Calls, Check Ins That Could Elicit An FFS Response? How Might You Walk Through These 3 Steps Before The Event, So The Best Version Of You Shows Up?

Hi Friend,

We’ve all been there.

Someone says something that triggers a reaction of … Oh FFS.

Maybe we perceive them as whining. Or making a mountain out of a molehill.

Or maybe we are so exhausted and pushing so hard towards a goal, we get activated by someone who questions the breakneck pace or the incentives being chased.

Case in point … that FFS moment from MillerKnoll’s internal Zoom call that went viral because CEO Andi Owen told employees to “leave pity city” and stop focusing on bonuses.

Do I think Andi Owen is a bad person and a bad leader? Nah. I think she’s a three-dimensional human being trying to function in a leadership role during a hellishly hard economic cycle.

I think she had an FFS moment and didn’t know (or was too exhausted) to check her reaction.

Whatever the cause, and regardless of whether the FFS is tone deaf or actually justified, an FFS reaction is rarely constructive.

It may feel incredibly invigorating in the moment, but rarely does it yield forward momentum.

The question is, how do you handle an FFS when it bubbles up?

Prepare and predict. Before talking to your peeps, really think about things from their perspective. What are they likely to be concerned about? Why? How might you honor their concerns, while also honoring the very real business objectives that need to be met? I’d say 80% of FFS moments can be predicted.
Breathe and validate. No matter what, always find a way to validate someone else’s point of view. Even if you don’t agree with it. In the case of MillerKnoll, those bonus concerns were legit, if you take the perspective of the employee. If she’d had the ability to take a beat, and validate, she probably would have responded differently. When people feel validated, they feel heard. And when people feel heard, they can participate in a constructive conversation. Not heard? Not validated? That’s when Zoom clips get leaked and go viral. Just sayin’.
Listen. Learn. Consider. An FFS moment can become a golden opportunity to see things from a different perspective. Be open to the possibility that someone may have something to teach you. Show them that you’re considering their point of view, even if the strategy ultimately stays the same. People can more easily respect a difficult decision when they feel they’ve been heard.