Hi Friend,
Welcome to Monday!
Every so often, I re-introduce what I consider to be a freakishly simple communication tactic into my repertoire. See if you can spot it in this story …
Last night, I had a SUPER successful conversation with my teenager (no small feat). It went like this:
I said, “Hey! How does it feel knowing you are one month away from being a senior?”
Her eyes danced. She replied, “It’s SO weird. I feel like it’s not real.”
I said with warmth in my voice, “You feel like it’s not real?”
“Yeah, I feel like every movie about teenagers has seniors in it and now I’m one of them.”
“And now YOU are one of them!”
“EXACTLY! And I want to have a huge blowout party because no one came to my 8th grade graduation party because of Covid.”
“Because of Covid …”
See what I did there? All I did was ask her an open ended question, and repeat the last bit of her statement back to her with warmth, enthusiasm, and empathy.
She and I had such a positive exchange of energy. I didn’t have to solve anything, recommend anything, or even advise her on anything. I just demonstrated that I was listening intently.
What’s so awesome about this simple technique is that it works with pretty much anyone, and makes the other person feel profoundly seen and heard.
Your thought experiment this week is to listen, and repeat back to the person the last words they say. Do it with warmth, enthusiasm, and empathy.
I have found that most of us aren’t looking for feedback or advice or ideas. We’re just looking for someone to listen to us and mirror our thoughts back to us.
It makes us feel less alone and more sane.
I’m telling you … give it a try. Let me know how it goes.
And shine on, my friend. We need your light!
B
