Hi Friend,
On a recent Sunday, I felt depleted. Emotionally drained. Energetically desiccated.
So, in an effort to nourish my spirit, I decided to take a break in the back yard with my husband Sal. We sat together in silence, watching birds dart from tree to tree. I could feel my spirit reanimating. I could feel my authentic self rising up from the ashes of my hustling and bustling.
All of a sudden, Sal says to me, “Did Maddy remember to get that gift for whatshername? You guys have to leave in 30 minutes …”
His words were like an electric shock to my system. My heart rate doubled and my impulse was to launch myself out of that chair, huff my way to the staircase where I would scream at my child asking if she’d handled her gift getting business.
But just as I was pulling myself up out of the chair, I said out loud, “NO. I’m not doing this reactivity thing.” I lowered back down, and started to breathe in through my nose.
From there, Sal and I worked out a plan to deal with the gift thing in a way that would STILL afford both of us an extra five minutes to sit together.
I thought about how that scene might have played differently had I reacted—there would have been shouting, quiet cursing (sorry, not sorry), and I’d be a miserable mother unhappily driving her kid around.
Here’s what I know … reactivity is rarely a good idea.
It rarely allows us to show up the way we hope to with those we love most.
Your thought experiment this week is to catch yourself mid-reaction.
Instead of that reaction, say the word “NO” audibly. Breathe.
Remind yourself that whatever you are facing, it surely is not a life or death situation.
Lower back into the proverbial chair of presence. Breath. Stillness. Sit a moment longer. Emerge stronger and more sane.
Shine on, my friend.
B |
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